Shengchun Sophie Luo: A Woman with Voice and Attitude (Part 4)
By Sloane Song
Due to concerns regarding government repercussions, the writer of this piece writes under the pen name “Sloane Song.” Human Rights in China has independently verified the identity of the writer.
When Ding Jiaxi was sentenced to 12 years in prison in April, 2023, Luo openly expressed her opposition to the Chinese Communist Party. Convinced that the CCP’s rule wouldn’t last much longer, she said that she no longer felt sorrow or pain, as she had grown stronger by witnessing more darkness under the CCP everyday.
In the fourth part of Luo’s story, we focus on Luo’s anger at the severe sentence that Ding was subjected to, and her resolution to stand firm against the CCP.
This piece will be published by Human Rights in China one part at a time, over five weeks. To catch up, read parts one, two, and three.
XXI.
After Ding was able to meet with his lawyers, Luo started to have lawyers bring a letter to Ding and read it to him in every meeting. Other than sharing updates about her personal life with Ding, Luo also wrote to him about recent developments concerning other people involved in the 12.26 Citizen Case, as well as domestic and international news. From the outbreak of Covid-19, the murder of George Floyd, to Biden’s inauguration and the Russian invasion of Ukraine, Luo made sure Ding had not fossilized in prison.
Meanwhile, Luo expanded the scope of her advocacy to human rights lawyers and activists involved in 12.26 Citizen Case, and later to the millions of Uyghurs being held in re-education camps, the imprisoned citizen journalists, and White Paper protesters.
In the lead-up to Ding’s sentence in April 2023, Luo chose to publicly present herself as an “amateur human rights defender,” the wife of Ding Jiaxi who aligned with his human rights advocacy. She deliberately refrained from positioning herself as explicitly “anti-CCP.” In the event that Ding decided to seek release by appealing to authorities, promising to abstain from political engagement as an exchange for reunion with his family, Luo wanted to ensure that her public stance was not perceived as a provocative antagonist by the regime and would not undermine his chances. In her correspondences with Ding, Luo frequently implored him to make these requests, which Ding always declined. He was confident that the CCP would crumble before he concluded his sentence.
Luo also once harbored hopes that the ascension of new leadership might usher in a potential turning point for Ding’s case. Yet, with Xi Jinping commencing his third term as the General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party in October 2022, she realized that this glimmer of hope had all but faded away.
Since Ding was sentenced to 12 years in prison in April, 2023, Luo openly expressed her opposition to the CCP. She knows clearly that only if CCP is in power, Jiaxi has no chance to be back home. She said that she no longer felt sorrow or pain, as she had grown stronger by witnessing more darkness under the CCP everyday.
Luo said she wrote to Ding that she couldn’t go back to who she was before. Previously, her everyday life was to pursue human rights. Now, it was to overthrow the authoritarian regime of the Chinese Communist Party and pursue democracy, rule of law, and a free China.
In 2023, she attended the Captive Nations Summit at the Victims of Communism Museum in Washington, D.C. as a panelist on Global Voices of Freedom. At various platforms such as the New York Zephyr Society (formerly known as Democracy Salon), Cornell University, and the National Endowment for Democracy, Luo recounted Ding’s story. She wanted to bring attention to his case but, more crucially, to exemplify the alarming deterioration of human rights, and the complete lack of rule of law and freedom in China.
“The government accused Ding and Xu of subversion of state power without any evidence,” Luo told me. But now I am going to subvert the CCP with full ‘evidence’.”
According to Luo’s demand, the specifics of her plan in subverting CCP will not be disclosed in this article.
“I pray to God for granting me wisdom and strength to devote myself to the mission of this generation, and I call for solidarity of worldwide like-minded friends to take action together with me.” Luo declared firmly at the 2023 Captive Nations Summit in July. “Let’s end the CCP together in this generation!”
I attended two of these speeches, and I marveled at how Luo managed to compose herself so that she didn’t shed one tear. She only, and always, choked up when talking about her daughters.
XXII.
From Katherine to Ding in May, 2021:
“Long time no see, Dad. This is your headstrong daughter. You’re well aware of my thoughts about you, but I can see the value in your actions and recognize the blatant injustice carried out by the authorities. You understand it, we understand it, and even those who subjected you to torture understand it. Therefore, to you, who has endured torture and persecution, I want to say: please don’t give up! As long as you know that 2 + 2 = 4 and not 5, you haven’t been broken! Please continue to resist them, because you must stay strong and live on until the day you can come out and tell the world your story. Dad, please, never give up!”
From Caroline to Ding in May, 2021:
“A lot happened last year. In March, all the universities sent us home due to the coronavirus, so I completed my freshman year at home. I spent the summer in Alfred too, taking summer courses, helping Mom with things, and writing an article that was published in our university’s newspaper. Now I'm in my sophomore year, switched to studying chemical engineering instead of international relations. I’ve also become an environmental advocate, educating my classmates about environmental issues.
This year, I’ve made many good friends in my dorm. Every week, we cook together, dance, and watch movies. Dad, we’re all cheering for you. You’re not alone – Mom, my sister, me, the people from Alfred, my classmates – we’re all with you on this journey! We’ll do everything in our power to help you and all those who are persecuted and their families. You're my dad, and I'm incredibly proud of you! Love you lots.”
Luo said she had not told her daughters the details of the torture Ding went through in prison. She couldn’t bear to recount the specifics of the brutality, even though she felt she should have told them.
“It is a luxury to talk about their father in our home,” Luo said. “At first, we would try to come up with ways to help together. But later when they were completely exhausted with their study and health issues, it was impossible to bring up Jiaxi. [For them,] the thought of their father has become a luxury.”
XXIII.
August 29, 2020, Saturday:
In the blink of an eye, it has been over two months since you’ve been in the detention center. Have they returned your right to have your own name? If not, have you resisted and demanded it back from them?
September 22, 2020, Tuesday:
It's the season for harvesting tomatoes again. Do you remember three years ago when you enjoyed the large tomatoes I grew here? There was an abundance of tomatoes that year, and I even invested a considerable amount of time learning to make tomato sauce. However, after you left, I found the tomato sauce tasteless and decided never to make it myself again.
January 1, 2021, Friday:
Midway through watching the film “The Little Prince,” I pause to write you a letter. “The Little Prince” is a fantastical animation that views the world from a child’s imaginative perspective. The unfettered abilities of the child-like innocence become a bit overwhelming for me. I couldn’t fully appreciate the beauty of the film. My heart is burdened with too much helpless reality: [the citizen journalist] Zhang Zhan, on a hunger strike, appearing in court with a sorrowful gaze in a wheelchair… you, imprisoned without any news from the detention center; and countless other prisoners of conscience in China’s prisons and detention centers, just like you... Despite all this, I still hold onto new hope for the New Year! I hope for more conscience and justice in China in 2021, and more sunshine of freedom and love!
February 20, 2021, Saturday:
During this year’s Spring Festival, I refrained from calling my elder siblings. When I shared with them about the torture you endured, my sister unexpectedly accused me of being deceived and spreading false information. It left me utterly speechless. Brother Dong seems to have taken a peculiar turn, becoming an ardent supporter of the Communist Party. Brother Ming and Brother Fan have transformed into zealous propagandists for a “Beautiful China,” constantly criticizing the United States. Only my oldest brother has managed to maintain a clear and discerning mind. I had a video chat with your mom. She’s an extraordinary woman, remaining unwaveringly determined for your safe return home. The passing years have marked her with the weight of time, yet she remains composed and resolute, firmly believing in your innocence. After speaking with her, I carried a heavy heart for several days.
May 16, 2021, Sunday:
Last time you told lawyer Peng to ask me not to worry about the food in Linyi County or your health. I understand that you wanted to comfort me, but what I want to say is that I need to know the details of any harm they have caused to your health. This will help the outside world understand the truth. Besides, supervising the food in Linyi County is the most basic right we have as citizens. I can’t just let them brush it off, so you must continue to patiently inform your lawyer about your physical recovery and the food situation during each visit. In the current situation where lawyers are continuously controlled and disturbed, it’s one of the most fundamental pieces of information that the outside world can pay attention to. Please understand and support this.
July 11, 2021, Sunday:
The rain has been unusually heavy in Alfred this year, making me feel particularly gloomy. The tomatoes and peas I planted couldn’t withstand the onslaught of groundhogs. I might not even plant them next year.
October 17, 2021, Sunday:
Winter is approaching, and the fallen petals cover the ground. This year, there has been too much rain, and the leaves don't look appealing at all. It’s probably for the best; this way, I won’t feel sorry for you for missing out on the beautiful scenery.
October 31, 2021, Sunday:
Regarding the defense strategy, I’m a bit disappointed that you see it as a naive idea from a newly emerging activist. I still hope you can carefully consider the sincere intentions of me and our old friends. I don’t know how to make you understand that during these two years of your detention, the situation outside has been deteriorating rapidly. You don't know how bad the professional environment is for lawyers. Once a case involves charges of endangering national security, it becomes a secret case, and lawyers immediately lose all their rights just like you, the defendants.
May 8, 2022, Sunday:
Jiaxi, you have already devoted yourself to the cause of democracy and freedom in China, but this government does not appreciate it at all. They don’t need a peaceful, rational, and responsible citizen like you. Instead of acknowledging your patriotic heart, they respond with torture, confining you in a cage, and completely breaking your body and will.
The world is big, and there are many places where you can contribute your intelligence and talents. For your own sake, have you considered permanently leaving China and making a fresh start in life? For the sake of our kids and I, we have endured for a long time, each carrying different wounds in our hearts, living this way for nearly a decade. All three of us now regularly see therapists. We have made the greatest efforts to support you, and we love you. We need you! Could you give us some time to enjoy the happiness of a complete family? Lastly, from a realistic perspective, you are facing long-term imprisonment. I know you are very resilient and have endured their torture, but can you withstand their prolonged imprisonment? Please don’t expect the prison conditions to improve. The prison completely disregards the proper procedures; they do as they please. And the key is, during your time in prison, besides having your physical and mental health destroyed, you won't be able to do anything for this country. If you still want to contribute to this country, could you wait until the day they collapse, and there are people welcoming you to make contributions before you return?
Lastly, let me explain about my health. From the outside, I may not seem different from before, but only I know how much I have changed. My right hand can no longer wash my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, or type. Even moving the mouse is done solely with my left hand, and writing is painstakingly slow, making it nearly impossible to take direct notes. Doing household chores mainly relies on my left hand. My right hand is constantly cold, and the right side of my body feels light, as if it doesn’t belong to me, yet it is also stiff and tight, making it difficult to stretch. I am not even 54 years old yet. Can I bear this condition and continue to work and live alone until I'm 60 years old?
June 13, 2022, Thursday:
Last week, Cao Yaxue [from China Change] accompanied a Reuters reporter to interview me in Alfred. I spent three afternoons carefully narrating to them our roller-coaster journey from the pinnacle of happiness to the abyss of heart-wrenching pain, our life story filled with numerous joys and sorrows. I told them, “This is the last time I will reminisce about my past life with Jiaxi. I won’t share it with anyone else in the future.” What I look forward to is Jiaxi coming back home in 2026, and together, we can build another ordinary yet poetic life in the United States or any other country. Traveling, researching, writing, giving lectures, making new friends. If anyone is still interested in our old stories, I leave it to you to share, and who knows, maybe you can add new perspectives to it!
February 14, 2023, Tuesday:
Today is Valentine’s Day, and your old lover salutes you. I’m waiting for you to come back and buy me 9999 roses! :-)
February 17, 2023, Friday:
Regarding whether I should continue participating in human rights activities, I appreciate your constant reminder to prioritize my job over activism, and I completely understand your feelings about human rights work. It is accurate. However, as long as you haven't returned to my side, I will never stop doing human rights work. You have taken me away from my peaceful world, and I cannot go back to the way things were. I have gone from making passive choices to making active ones. You mentioned that I don't understand China while in the United States, and you strongly imply your determination to stay in the country. I understand your perspective, but do you think you can do anything other than ending up in jail if you stay in China? The international community's understanding of the CCP is becoming clearer, and there are plenty of things to do abroad. I am disappointed that you are unwilling to change your mindset, step out of the box, and explore other options. Instead, you remain fixated on your views from three years ago during the torture, wanting to fight against the odds in China, to become a martyr, to wear out the prison cell in China, to watch them…
I implore you to change your mindset and consider coming to the United States. This is not just for me or for Luo Shengchun. To be honest, Luo Shengchun has grown up, and she no longer needs you. But there are more people here who need you, including our daughters who see psychologists regularly because of your absence from their life , even though they appear perfectly healthy to outsiders. They need you desperately! My dear husband, please remember the ten-year promise you made. Remember what you said? A gentleman keeps his promises and doesn't make excuses! Do you recall the motto you recommended to our children? NO EXCUSE.
April 15, 2023, Saturday:
At the moment of your sentencing, I truly felt like I was resurrected, and all discomfort vanished. 12 years and 14 years in prison – the Chinese Communist Party indeed gave you and Zhiyong a reward higher than Liu Xiaobo’s, which is something to celebrate! To be honest, being influenced by your and Xu Zhiyong's belief that the length of your sentences is not determined by the authorities but when CCP will end, I had never anticipated the specific length of your sentences. When I heard those two numbers, I couldn’t help but tell the numerous reporters waiting online: “I am certain that the end of the CCP is near.” They probably thought I was delirious to say such things, but at that moment, I was truly calm and confident. I felt like God was with me as I said those words, and He clearly showed me several paths, filling my vision with light!
XXIV.
Luo’s mother, who taught her to stay away from politics, passed away in 2014.
The following year, Luo’s father, who had endured a decade in a reeducation labor camp, also departed this earth.
Luo regretted not having inquired about the exact circumstances that led her father to the camp, as well as his encounters during his time there. She yearned to know how her mother managed to live through the ten years in the absence of her father.
Before Luo left China for her overseas study in 2000, she told Ding that she was a very traditional woman and couldn’t accept an unfaithful husband. She warned him, “If you ever dare to cheat on me, I’ll bring a gun from America and shoot you.”
In churches, she prayed to God that “Dear God, watch over Ding Jiaxi in my absence. Please safeguard our fidelity.”
Curious about the depth of her concern, I asked her, “What underlies your concern with Ding’s faithfulness? What triggers these feelings of suspicion and insecurity?”
Luo thought about the answer for a long time. Initially, she tentatively proposed that her love for Ding was so profound that the mere thought of losing him was unsettling. She wasn’t convinced with this answer. While we were having dinner after the interview, she told me that it was because Ding’s world, a world she could not fully understand, nor connect to, was so much bigger than hers.
She was once jealous that Ding chose to spend Christmas with his friends rather than with her in 2012. In 2014, she still remembered this event and wrote in her diary that “That’s just how you are – placing more importance on friendships than on romantic relationships. It's one of the roots of our occasional arguments. You never made me feel proud to be your wife. In the presence of your friends and classmates, you never showed any extra care or affection towards me. I often felt insignificant, as if I were an unnecessary presence. Recalling those painful memories is truly heart-wrenching… In truth, I am someone who yearns for affection, but it is something I rarely receive from you. Your care and love always seem to be somewhere else, never truly within our home. It seems that you exist not for us, but for others.”
Back then, Luo’s love for Ding made him her entire world. Now almost ten years later, this love has opened her eyes to a world marred by authoritarianism and dictatorship, a plight she wishes to end.
“Why do you love Ding Jiaxi so much,” I asked Luo as our conversation drew to a close. “Why do you still love him deeply, even after years of being apart?”
“Because he enlightened me,” Luo replied. “He transformed me from a naive girl into a woman. When we were dating, he brought warmth and brightness to my life. Even though I might have had some grievances about him after we got married, I would recall again how tenderly he listened to the heartbeat of our babies when I was pregnant with them. As time went on, the more I learned about his pursuits and actions, the deeper my love for him grew.”
Luo remembered that when she and Ding first started dating, Ding told her that he saw her all tied up in knots, bound under different kinds of restrictions. “I will untangle and remove those one by one,” Ding said.
“I was so used to being a good girl, a good, obedient student,” Luo said to me. “I didn’t even know where these shackles came from… He had truly transformed me from a little girl who only cared about romance to a woman who is concerned about the fate of her country.”
“But after years of separation, do you think you love Ding Jiaxi as a person, or as a concept?” I continued.
“As a person,” Luo answered firmly. “I don’t love him because he’s flawless; I love him because he was endearing, genuine in front of me. I love the moments when he suggested we visit a supermarket together and found fascination in the simplest things, much like an innocent child, during his last visit to Alfred. I love how he’d say, ‘Shengchun, come on, consider this event from a different angle,’ like a big parent. I love the way he approached mini-golf. I love his smile, and how his lovable, bright smile made me feel so natural and intimate with him. I love his ideals, and I love every little trivia in our marriage.”
“Today, I am here to tell you the story of one of those rights defenders – my husband, Ding Jiaxi.” Luo said at the 2022 Geneva Summit. “Actually, I want to tell you our story, the story of Jiaxi and me.”
The story of Luo Shengchun and Ding Jiaxi will be completed one day after Ding is released. For now, the story I’m telling, the story that Luo has graciously shared with me and the whole world, is the long overdue story of her. Luo Shengchun’s story.
XXV.
There were less than three years left until 2026, the year Ding and Luo had promised to reunite.
These days, the yearning for her Jiaxi and the determination to bring about their ten-year reunion has driven Luo to try to dismantle the CCP. She is experiencing a growing urgency. She feels restless whenever a day passes without her actively taking steps to undermine the CCP.
“I want yesterday once more,” Luo said. “I want Jiaxi to be back at my side.”
Luo knew that over the expanse of the years they were separated, their relationship might metamorphose from spouses into something akin to friends. Accepting this eventuality as a manifestation of divine providence, she said she could gracefully offer her acquiescence. Nevertheless, a fervent yearning still thrived within her, one that fervently wished for their togetherness to persist as it had been.
In Luo’s imagination, when she sees her Jiaxi the next time, she would give him the biggest, warmest hug when she welcomes him at the airport. They would have a wedding in her favorite church in Alfred, officiated by her beloved pastor, Laurie DeMott, and she would don a pristine white wedding gown. Despite being a pious Christian, Luo has not been baptized to officially convert to Christianity. She didn’t want to be different with her Jiaxi on this front, but perhaps when they reunite, he would embrace Christianity, and they could undergo baptism together. She would encourage him to visit a psychiatrist to address the trauma experienced during his imprisonment, and they would go to couple therapy together to explore the way forward. She would temper her inclination to correct his living habits developed in prison, but she might still address those select habits that truly pricked at her sensibilities, the ones she didn’t get to correct the last time, when she knew they only had two months together.
“I frequently find myself dreaming of him,” Luo said, with one foot resting on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket. “In my dreams, we hug tightly , and he kisses me tenderly. But upon awakening, an intense pain washes over me.”
“This longing gnaws at me like cancer,” tears glistened in Luo's eyes. “So now, every day, I push myself to the limit, hoping to exhaust my body and mind, just to fall into a dreamless slumber.”
Luo said she now felt closer to God.
Luo believed that God would take her life before Ding’s.
God wouldn't bear to witness me living alone without my Jiaxi on Earth any longer.
The next time we reunite, we will stay together forever, Luo thought. Till death parts us.
To be continued next week.